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Beer and a Lollipop

Matt Philichi

Talk about a crazy toddler: I had to eat naked at the dinner table because I spilled everything on my clothes and mother got tired of washing them. I'd break just about everything I touched and the nurses knew me by first name in the ER. Although I was beyond mischievous, somehow I had a way of avoiding getting caught. Well...most of the time.

Every Friday night my dad would have his weekly after-work beer. Now being the devilish child I was, I'd sneak in a sip or two every once in a while. So one Monday I woke up extra early before everyone else. I had an agenda. Although I was only five I was sick and tired of my mom's same old boring lunches. So I reached into my Superman lunch box, took out all the healthy foods that my mom had packed, leaving only a cherry red lollipop. I reached into our mini fridge, pulled out one of my dad's beers, and gently placed it in my lunch box. "The lunch of champions," I thought to myself then slammed the lunch box shut.

My parents made it to the kitchen and were surprised to see me already up. My mom blew it off and quickly started making breakfast for the family. Afterwards she hurried us out the door while handing us our lunch boxes one by one. First Gianna then Mia then..."wait,why is this so heavy?" she questioned while sternly looking at me. My mom opened the lunch box and all she found was a bottle of beer and a lollipop. My face immediately turned blush red. Before that moment I had not experienced true embarrassment. Well...I guess...so much for the "lunch of champions."