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What Can We Do For You?

By: Joshua Isaac

That question stumped me. I found myself rattling off the answers during the ‘Q&A with the filmmaker’ in a state of confidence. But I didn't quite have the words for this question. I wasn't prepared.

Truth was the night had been a success. One couple, two middle-aged women, left early. She stopped me on the way out to say, "It hits too close to home." That I understood about my documentary film, My Left Hand, about my battle with cancer, and I don't mind that it gets people thinking and feeling. That's the point of it. I wished them well.

As for the nearly 100 or so people that stayed through the encore screening of My Left Hand, I think it was an unforgettable and meaningful experience. And I hope the Q&A added an element of truth and further advanced the story.

This question was a softball pitch. But I swung too low. Fortunately my wife Kim helped pick up the slack. Just do it, is what she said as she joined me at the front of the room. She rattled off how people have come to our aid in large and small ways while we struggle with my fight against late stage cancer and also manage three young children.

"We have a Book Fairy that delivers books to our kids gift wrapped – and we have no idea who it is," she said. "Someone has taken up the mitzvah of baking Challahs for us each Shabbat."

People want to help when they see you devastated by an incurable disease that's required a half dozen lung surgeries in a four month span and countless chemos. I know because I see it in their eyes.

And I think why this question stumped me, and what Kim reminded me, is that we have such great friends and family that we haven't had to ask this question. It's just happened. My friend's Netflix subscription keeps coming. I still enjoy my Apple Nano and Zune, which a colleague from Microsoft got me when he heard I got an Apple product from friends. We've had amazing dinners delivered and still place orders for take-out, which work has donated, on those days where we're all exhausted. Help can range from a friend buying a beer after not seeing him for years just to hear him say he's sorry to know this is happening to people grabbing the kids for the day because they heard I'm vomiting. We've received heartfelt letters from people we hardly know.

This isn't meant to be a list of what all people have done for us. One, I need to keep the word count down and can't fit it all, and two, I don't want to leave anyone off.

I will close by saying the worst is when it goes unsaid. Sure it feels weird to be labeled ‘the cancer guy.’ And I can get sick of discussing it. But it's an awkward elephant in the room when no one says anything and you all know it's there. Usually a simple, ‘hey this sucks what's happening to you, I just don't know what else to say,’ says it all.

I'm happy to have it out there and then we can move on because the best is to be present, to be there and let that person know you're there for them. And that's what our friends have done. And you bet that at the next showing, at Seattle Jewish Film Festival, for the Q&A, I'll have a better answer to this question.