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Friends

By: Jeanne Hanigan

Friendships come in all shapes, sizes, and expectations. I just have to look back at the past few weeks of summer to appreciate that belief.

Our social calendar swells as the temperature increases, and every event varies vastly and wildly. From the end of-the-year English department gathering bidding two fellow teachers adieu, to the most recent family barbeque celebrating our older son's 9th birthday, the only consistent factor in these soirees is the presence of food, and lots of it.

But our celebrations are not limited to large groups with formal invitations. Some of the most memorable events of the solstice have been impromptu dinners with other families. These are not quiet and intimate affairs, but loud and boisterous ones. Our mid-week dinner with a family that we have know for only two years ended late on a work night with an endearing farewell by the door. Last weekend we celebrated Independence Day at our friends' annual extravaganza, and the following night, we hung out informally with another family of four, the man whom my husband has known for nearly 30 years.

While we host a great deal, we also show up at various destinations with a warning call and a gift or two. Boating in early June, we strategically stopped by one friend's lovely no-bank waterfront home for lunch, and then happened upon our other friends' beach home just as they were sitting down for dinner. And our eclectic group of acquaintances turned loved ones seems boundless.

My sons and I stopped by a former colleague's house last week to deliver some gently used toys, and we were graciously treated to homemade popsicles. Our neighbors on both sides have young children, great senses of humor, and are tremendous too. Lounging and laughing about our children's antics make the sweltering summer days pass quickly.

I hope my friends realize that I am a good friend, just a low-maintenance one. I can go months without seeing people regularly, but when summer arrives, I can finally sub for some female friends' Bunco group, or organize a girls' only "Sex and the City" viewing. I love it when I can introduce friends to one another so they can hang out, even if I can't.

However, all friendships, regardless of tenure and time, come with a price. This summer, while deliciously social so far, also marks the tragic transition of a relationship. My newly-minted 9-year-old had to say goodbye to his best buddy at the end of the school year. The father's position relocated to Illinois, and this pilot needed to start in mid-June. Our son was not the only person to wipe away tears; my heart broke with him as he said his final good-bye to his 2nd grade buddy and the family whom we considered friends as well.

Friendships and the maintenance of these connections may vary. However, the value of all friendships can be measured by the laughter shared when together and tears shed when having to say goodbye indefinitely.